Want to Be Effective in Life ?
Recently I was struggling with being effective, especially around groups of people. How can I be effective with my pitch? How can I effectively tell people what coaching is? How can I effectively lead my workshops? How can I effectively write blogs? These questions were troubling me a great deal and I was looking for an answer or an access to being effective.
What does being effective mean to me?
It means being able to get through to people quickly and with ease. It means being able to do more work in less time. It means getting to the deeper level faster. It means a fast track to mastery.
(Dictionary meaning of Effective: Successful in producing a desired or intended result)
My deep seated belief system around it was as follows: I am not effective in my speech, I am not crisp. I am not eloquent .I use a lot of words to describe something. I talk more to explain something. I use pretty complicated word systems when I write. Behind these thoughts are - Have I failed myself and the other? Have I made a fool of myself? Will I get another chance if I fail now? What will people think of me? What if they discover I am Dumb? (some failures and stories from the past) . With these belief systems just imagine how painful the tasks such as creating presentations, writing blogs, creating videos or even just simply ‘sharing’ are for me. It’s these belief systems that made these tasks difficult for me and these belief systems were the filter through which I viewed myself and the world. I had no access to being Effective with groups of people.I knew it was time to take the help. I got myself coached on this by another Coach.
When I got to walk beyond my belief systems, my firmly held views, the fogginess in my head cleared, my fear and anxiety subsided.
I began to see that what matters is the concern of the other and how I can use my ‘best strengths and abilities’ to take care of that concern. What can I provide that will help them ? When I am thinking of the other the “I” and “My” fears and concerns become irrelevant. I stop looking outside for the answers and start looking within, ” What do I have that I can give and it will take care of it for them?”. This view brought me peace and I started to think productively.
I began to see new perspectives. I could stand in another person’s shoes and look at what they might need. I could see clearly what I could give. I was okay with the learning process that the journey of becoming effective might entail. I might fail but that’s okay. It is the only way to go forward.
It is here that I saw - Being effective (or not) in life comes from the Views I have about Life and everything that it encompasses. I am not “Not effective” by heredity, genes nor is it etched in stone. I have a view that doesn’t allow me to go beyond.
It is the STEP that I take to seek clarity, to seek a new perspective that would open for me the opportunity to Be Effective in that particular area.
Being Effective is a journey one undertakes. One needs to be courageous, vulnerable, open, authentic and ready to seek help when needed. It’s scary initially but here is where the power lies. The more one seeks help; the more one allows the other to contribute and gets contributed in return. And faster, quicker, deeper, on point is possible.